Water cooler exercises

There are times in our life where we become acutely aware of how we are perceived.

A mate of mine realized this when he was travelling through India over a decade ago. Originally he had been birthed in Karachi, Pakistan, but had spent 20+ years in Canada (starting from when he was a child). As such, he had grown up in Canadian culture, with Canadian values and a Canadian perspective. This perspective, then, included an innate belief that regardless of race, colour, creed (or another identifier) we are all equal under the law. Unfortunately, this sentiment was not shared by the Indian authorities. As tensions were rising between the old rivals of Pakistan and India, my mate quickly found himself in an Indian jail. According to Indian governmnent perspective he was Pakistan, regardless of his lack of affiliation with his place of birth. Even as he languished in the gritty jails of New Delhi, he believed he would be "rescued" as a Canadian. However, he found that it took days -- and a lot of convincing by two causasian travelling mates -- to convince the Canadian and then the Indian authorities that he was not a terrorist.

What my mate experienced was the disparate gap between perception and stereotypes. His experience left him stunned and hurt (as it should). He later became a legal professional.

The sad fact is our heuristics can hurt (rather than help) in how we deal with people. This scenario has never been more evident than how we are currently dealing with people of Middle Eastern and South Asian descent (particularly people whose dress self-identifies them as an alternative religion than Judao-Christian culture).

As such, I have a task for all you little social justice advocates. It's a simple task -- one that will not require legal action, or public display. Yet, the action is an essential component in breaking down the barriers that stand between us, our perceptions, and our steretypes.

The task is this: look within and acknowledge the stereotypes that YOU live by. Not the expectations you have of yourself based on your desires...but rather the expectations and beliefs you hold of yourself based on history and culture.

The fact is that in order to break down the limiting (and often hurtful) heuristics that dominate our culture and attitudes today, we need to begin challenging them -- and what better place to begin than within.

Since stereotypes are learned attitudes that have significant impact on our behavior -- learned attitudes that we develop from a variety of sources including television, books, music, our peers, families, etc. -- we need to acknowledge these generalizations we hold. NOTE: These generalizations can be positive or negative, but both can have negative consequences for the person or people being stereotyped.

The fact is, whenever we stereotype someone, we are ignoring them as an individual and lumping the whole group together as “they are all like that.” Stereotypes can be very difficult to change. Stereotypes happen when we judge people from our own frame of reference or our own cultural expectations about how people should look, behave, talk, etc. This can cause misunderstandings (on both sides) and misjudgments.

So here is your task for today: during a quiet moment (perhaps when you get that second or third cup of coffee) take a moment and acknowledge: what beliefs did I learn about myself based on television? Books? Music? Art? Now, go a little deeper and acknowledge what lessons you learned about yourself based on school curriculum (or lack thereof). Now pick a person in your place of work and do the same exercise. Don't worry about censoring your thoughts -- no one will know what comes up...this is YOUR exercise, your thoughts, your attempt to correct a lifetime of preconceptions.

And that's it.

The fact is, if we are ever to overcome stereotypes, we must first acknowledge that we are impacted by them -- both externally and internally. And since I cannot change the external it's time for all of us to take internal responsibility.

NOTE: I would love to know the results of this exercise. If you feel comfortable, drop me a line and let me know: what did you learn? Were there any shocking revelations? And, most importantly, did you see the heuristics that limit yourself and others?